When our children were little, being alone with my husband was a sought after time. We only had night time when they were asleep or nap time. He was not around much at nap time. Our only choice was night time.
When you get up at 5:30 am for work and to get the kids off to school, their sleep time was our sleep time.
If we had time for conversation it was that fifteen minutes between their falling asleep and our stumbling up stairs to crawl into bed for our own sleep time.
As they grew and their sleep time came more into sync with our sleep time, our alone time was after dinner while they did homework and played.
This alone time was shortened when we all watched a favorite t v show together. We could go out, and did, leaving the kids with baby sitters or alone as they aged.
The alone time at the house without going to a movie or out to eat was minimal.
Little did we know that when they were grown and with their own families, that our alone together time would lengthen to the point of at home all the time.
We are now retired, and it amazes me how much time we are alone together. Not a bad thing, just something I never thought about. I have always felt that when we are together we should be together.
If he was outside, I should be outside.
If he was inside, I should be inside. Now if that meant that what I wanted to do was put to the side to be together, that was what was done.
Well, we have been retired now over ten years.
I have come to the conclusion, that as long as we are available to each other for companionship or help in a project, we don’t need to be in the hip pocket of the other.
Now, this may seem a “duh” moment to those of you still with family around and jobs to go to, but it took me a long time to get there.
What I want you to know, is that I now relish the alone time we have and the ability we have to do things together whether it is making a pie or just sitting on the sofa together. I think this is what retiring should look like.