I have been thinking lately of quitting. Everything.
It came to me today that I don’t want to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow and go to the gym. We have been doing it pretty steadily since the first of the year, but I’m done. I am not an early riser, as a rule, but have been pretty faithful this year about being up and about by no later than 6:30 a.m. That way we are in to the gym by 7 a.m. and home by a little after 8 a.m. and then we have the rest of the day to do whatever we want. That is after we recuperate after the gym. So, not sure how much good it does, therefore…
I have also tried to write 500 words and report to my online writing group daily. Haven’t done too badly with that. Not excellently, but not bad. I have failed miserably this past week. I haven’t done 500 words a day nor have I blogged even once. No excuses just didn’t get to it.
Well, I’m done.
I have also tried to be intentional about what I eat, hoping to lose a few pounds. Not many, only ten. Haven’t done that either. I have tried eating smaller portions. Keeping a journal thinking that if I saw what I ate, I would cut back. I have tried to eat several times a day, but less in those times than I did before. I failed.
Finished. Finito. Done.
I thought about quitting and do none of the above. Who cares? No one notices but me that I haven’t done these things. So, why does it matter if I continue or not?
The only one who cares is: ME.
I thought about what would happen if I quit trying to do all these things.
Here is my result:
Without the gym I get creaky. I mean getting up out of a chair is a major, major thing.
Guess I won’t quit.
If I don’t write I feel like a failure to myself, because it is done primarily for me. Hopefully, in the process of writing and publishing to my blog I will help someone else besides myself.
So, I will continue with this dribble drabble of wordage in the hope that I and someone else might feel better.
Onward and upward with the word count.
If I continue to eat my usual way, I will manage to gain more weight about which I can worry.
So, guess that won’t work.
When we feel as though all is lost and what we are doing is worth nothing, it is time to stop, take a deep breath and look at what has been accomplished. It may not be what we want, or as much as what we want, but accomplish something we do.
So, don’t give up. Don’t quit. Take a step back pivot the other way and see what there might be to do in a different direction. Maybe you need to change exercises.
Perhaps you need to just write without any idea of publishing, or maybe dial it back and only publish once a week or once a month.
And maybe you just need to not worry about what you eat and only eat a portion of whatever you eat normally and not punish yourself for eating more than you should.
I am not quitting. I will pivot and adjust and tomorrow is another day.